TITLE: Alive in My Heart
AUTHOR: Erin M. Blair
E-MAIL: eblair@sonic.net
FEEDBACK: Yes, please. I treasure feedback.
DISTRIBUTION: OK to Gossamer, Ephemeral, MSR
Fanfic Cheerleaders, etc. 
RATING: PG
CATEGORIES: SRA -- Story, Romance, Angst
KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully Romance. 
SPOILERS: This is Not Happening. 
DISCLAIMER: Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter. 
SUMMARY: I wish you were here with me, Mulder. I don’t 
know how long I can go about my day, not being with you. 
NOTES: This is a sequel to my fanfic, "The Darkest Day." 
I would like to thank Jen for beta reading this story for me. 

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Alive in My Heart
by Erin M. Blair
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The same dream kept me in a lull all day. I 
dreamt of you, Mulder. I could picture you 
holding me like you did on that fateful day months 
ago. I remembered smelling the cologne that I bought 
you for your birthday a year ago, with the mixture 
of the sunflower seeds that you used to – 

Used to. 

I wish you were here with me, Mulder. I don’t know 
how long I can go about my day, not being with you. 

Not having you in my arms; not sharing the days 
with you.  

Why did it take us so long to reach the sky and 
smile, only to have you taken away from me? 

It was just like the time before when I could see 
the clear sky ahead.  I could close my eyes and 
then I could actually visualize you here with me. I 
could draw a picture in my mind of all the times we 
laughed, we cried, we debated, and how you took 
me in your arms. You hugged me and then kissed
me first on my forehead, and then I could finally feel 
your warm lips on mine.  

I can’t picture you dead. You’re not dead to me; 
you’re still alive to me. I want to keep your memory 
alive. I need to keep our dreams alive. If I don’t, I 
really will lose you forever. 

You’re still alive to me, Mulder. You’re still with me 
in our unborn child. You’re still alive to me in my 
dreams, my wishes, and everything that we touched.  

We touched the sky with our thoughts, our dreams, 
and our love. I have to keep hold of that.  I don’t want 
to think what would happen if I lose faith in you. I never 
wanted that to happen – ever. If that happened, I 
would have lost you forever. I couldn’t let that 
happen, Mulder, because I would never let you go. 

Not now; not ever. 

-- end --