TITLE: Desert Places
AUTHOR: Erin M. Blair
E-MAIL: eblair@sonic.net 
CLASSIFICATION: SRA--Story, Romance, Angst
CONTENT: Mulder/Scully Romance
RATING: PG
DISTRIBUTION: OK to Gossamer, Ephemeral, 
MSRfanfic Cheerleaders Archive. Others -- please
ask me first.
SPOILERS: Existence, DeadAlive, Requiem, and Field 
Where I Died. There are small spoilers from Season One to 
Season Eight, but then it diverts after that. 
SETTING: Existence then AU. 
DISCLAIMER: Mulder, Scully, and William belong to 
Chris Carter. The poem, "Desert Places," was written 
by Robert Frost. 
FEEDBACK: Sure, why not. Send to: eblair@sonic.net
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Thanks to Jen for suggesting 
this idea to me and for beta reading this story.
SUMMARY: Mulder fears that the life he shares with 
Scully will come to an end. Will Mulder and Scully finally
grab the chance of happiness or will they destined to be
lonely?


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Desert Places
Written by: Erin M. Blair
------------------------------------------

He was standing in a field, much like the one
he had stood in four years ago.  Lines from 
a Robert Frost poem he had read years ago
played in his mind. 

And then he woke up.

He was laying in bed next to Scully. He tried not
to wake her up, but he needed her. He wanted 
her comfort to reassure him that he was safe. 
"Scully?" He touched the smooth satin of her 
neck and then he kissed her red hair gently. 

Scully stirred. Her clear blue eyes focused on her
husband. "What time is it, Mulder?" 

Mulder drew a deep breath, trying to make sense
of the mixed emotions stirring from his most puzzling
dream that he had in years. When he finally gathered his
words, he knew his voice was still in his usual early 
morning mumble. "I had the most strangest dream."

"Mulder, it's three in the morning. We both need to get 
more sleep because it took a long time to get William 
to sleep in his bassinet..."

Mulder nodded. "I know, Scully. You can go back to 
sleep. I'll come back to bed in a few minutes."

"Are you OK?" 

Mulder gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, Scully." 

*  *  *

His mind rolled back to a time when he was led 
to believe that another woman was his soulmate. He
stood in a field where he wanted badly to believe in
reincarnation souls finding each other through the 
passage of time. 

He could feel the tall grass grazing against his clothes.
The wind blowing the photos away. 

Then suddenly snow littered across the ground. 

He was freezing, wanting to get back to the woman 
he loved: Scully.

But he couldn't.

He was trapped.

Underground.

Dead to the world...

*  *  *

"Mulder!"

He jolted awake and then he saw Scully sitting beside him. 
"What?"

"Is there something wrong? You look troubled."

The concern on Scully's face comforted him. He knew he 
needed her support. "It's hard to put into words."

"Whatever it is, we can survive it."

"I hope so," replied Mulder. He frowned. "I just hope
...that everything will be all right. We went through so
much to have William."

"He's our miracle, Mulder."

"I know he is, Scully." He paused. "I had this strange
dream. It's hard to put into words..."

"What is it?"

"I think I remember dying."

"Oh."

"I think some impressions are coming back to
me in dreams. I could feel the cold seeping
through my body. I was underground," Mulder
said with a frown. "I couldn't escape. They'd
done something to me."

"Mulder, if I had known..."

"You didn't know. I know what you told me. I looked
dead to the world, Scully. I know that you told me 
that they thought I planned the whole abduction
thing and you didn't know what to think." He paused.
He gazed into her clear blue eyes and then his voice
quieted. "I would have thought the same thing. I wanted
to tell you that I understood, but --"

Scully interrupted him by kissing his forehead. "Mulder,
it's all right. It's understandable. You didn't know. It 
was fine to be angry at the world. Everything moved 
on. You didn't know where you stood when you
got back, especially since you thought John Doggett
was taking your place."

"Well, at least he took my place on the X-Files, and
not in my personal life," Mulder said with a small smile.
"I have you and William."

"And you will always have us, Mulder." 

"I want to believe that nothing will happen to us, 
Scully." He was trying to fight the tears that were
starting to well in his eyes. "I want to believe that 
we will always be together -- no matter what 
happens."

"We will," she said. She pulled him closer to her. They
felt each other's heartbeats as they promised to protect
each other from life's troubles. "I promise you that."

"And I promise you, Scully. I will never leave you and 
our son," Mulder said as he kissed her hair. "Never." 

-- the end -- 

*  *  *
"Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast
In a field I looked into going past,
And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,
But a few weeds and stubble showing last.

The woods around it have it--it is theirs.
All animals are smothered in their lairs.
I am too absent-spirited to count;
The loneliness includes me unawares.

And lonely as it is that loneliness
Will be more lonely ere it will be less--
A blanker whiteness of benighted snow
With no expression, nothing to express.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars--on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places.
  
From "A Further Range", 1936, Robert Frost"
  

Author's Notes:

My beta reader, Jen, gave me the idea to 
write a story based on a Robert Frost poem,
"Desert Places."  I would like to thank her for beta 
reading this story and for coming up with a brilliant 
story idea. 

I thought about it for awhile,and then decided to 
write about Mulder's experiences in DeadAlive 
and for him to deal with his feelings after being 
buried alive. Chris Carter never let Mulder deal 
with his pain on the show except for maybe one 
episode and how he dealt with the aftermath from 
his abduction. I thought it was time for me to write a 
fanfic about it.  I hope I conveyed his feelings a
bit more than it was on the show. 

I would like to thank my readers for joining me on this
ride. I appreciate everything you have done for me during
this year and for supporting me. 

~ Erin M. Blair
December 9, 2004